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The gospel according to Martin Lukes

Praise be! The FT has resurrected Martin Lukes, the deluded and corrupt former chief of fictional company a-b global, who disappeared from view some years back after being convicted of insider trading.

In tune with modern social media trends, Lukes - who declares himself "480% innocent" of the charge - now has his own blog, wirtten from his prison cell in Florida.

He also appears to have found God:

Whilst within prison I have been attempting to share some learnings with other inmates who have made some bad choices in their lives. With the help of Our Lord I am assisting them to put Jesus as the beating heart of their personal brands.

I have developed two highly exceptional courses:

Pros for the cons TM -  This is a uniquely inspirational course that teaches that all negatives can become positives, even for convicts, if you choose to walk with Our Lord.

I wonder if Lukes is behind the recent rash of bible-bashing by our great leaders in the banking world, who have recently taken to spreading the greed is good gospel of Gordon Gekko to the witless masses from church pulpits across the land.

Only this week, Barclays chief John Varley could be heard telling the packed pews of St Martins-in-the-field church that "profit is not Satanic".

In October, Goldman international advisor Brian Griffiths delivered a powerful sermon in favour of the bonus culture at St Paul's Cathedral in London.

“The injunction of Jesus to love others as ourselves is an endorsement of self-interest,” Goldman’s Griffiths said. “We have to tolerate the inequality as a way to achieving greater prosperity and opportunity for all.”

Surely these words could only have been penned by Martin Lukes himself! Is this character Griffiths for real, I wonder, or just another figment of Lukes' creator Lucy Kellaway's imagination?

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