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Australian Bosses will legally Read Staff Email

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As part of the 'War on Terror' Australian bosses will soon be able to legally read their employees email.

Do we really have to? I can see some executive wage pressures.

This is apparently neccesary to spot terrorist risks, according to the government. I can see a training opportunity here - someone will have to teach the executives how to read, in between the lines, and of course - speed read to get through it all. Who thought of this torture? 

Perhaps they could outsource it to the government or contractors.

HR better get to work on that job specification, I'll need some ideas from you to pick a name for the position and refine the specs:

Specs: 

Nosy parkers required to read infinite amounts of boring rubbish in the hope of spotting a tidbit.

Must be multi-multi-lingual and perfectly understand all slang, ancient and modern including LOL etc.

Must understand all known encryption systems and defeat them on the fly.

Previous experience at as a spy to look good on the company profile would be advantageous. 

I see a new market for USB encrypters so that you can send private attachments to friends. Something that masqueraded as a camera downloading your secret messages into innocent pictures of you and the secretary in Paris last week.

I suppose we could just pad all our mails with keywords in some vague context and overload the eyeballs and robot readers, but then perhaps they would ban the use of certain words.... 

The Deputy Prime Minister said something like "We don't care what went on at the Christmas  party, this is about protecting our critical infrastructure from terrorism". 

Perhaps if she could just suggest what we should be looking for?

ps. I originally entitled this ...Emal a mispelling for obvious reasons. Freudian slip.

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