Precedents are now in the way of financial system reform

“Good morning gentlemen…and lady.”  Sir Gordon Bennett, the chairman of EuroCorp smiled gratuitously and made eye contact with Karen Carbuncle, the only female in the room.

“The events of the past six months have been harrowing and this financial crisis is far from over.  We see further downside for the next 12 months at least but, I’m happy to say that our organisation is now well placed to carry us through. We will be a fitter and stronger organisation as a consequence of the actions taken by our board and executed most effectively by our CEO, Sir Rufus Rottweiler.”  Sir Gordon led the applause which quickly spread around the table, Sir Rufus standing briefly in acknowledgement.

“Now we have been in communication with our friends in the regulatory authorities and central bank administration to understand our collective views and we agree that the actions we are taking have consensus across our industry.”  Continued nodding and glances around the table.

“It’s not been easy for any of us.  We laid off a third of our workforce…and at Christmas time.  My god, that was hard!  Sir Rufus’ leadership team were asked to divest 30% of our resources, then of course we needed to cut the number of leaders and we did that.  The pain of talking one on one,  consoling our people to the fact that it was in their own best interest and that they would be supporting the remaining people…seeing their ashen faces.  Perhaps we could have improved upon our word smithing in hindsight…well, that’s behind us now. We’ve done our job and the company is positioned well to survive…that right Jason?”  The chairman smiled at Jason Upworth, the financial controller who provided a strong acknowledgement with a stiff upper lip and double nod, squashing his rather fat neck in the process.

“A job well done gentlemen and our shareholders will thank us for our swift and decisive action.  Which brings me on to the next subject, that of ongoing expenses.  Unfortunately, for all of our staff, there will be no Christmas bonuses this year, no Christmas party…how can we celebrate when there is a tide of hurt and stress out there?  I know our people understand and support our view. Yes, and no salary increases next year.  Completely understandable in these circumstances.  We will set a standard of belt tightening for NewCo, our new parent, and we can continue being a mean and lean operation, no lapsing back into the dark past of excessive indulgence.  I mean to say, why did we have long service recognition awards anyway?  Surely the fact that they still have a job after all these years is reward in itself?”

“Now to the agenda, gentlemen.  The AGM went rather well, except for the expected noise from the same quarters as last year regarding executive and director remuneration.  I really don’t know why we have to let all the rabble in to the room for the AGM…we’ll continue to look at what we can do about that next year…we should be able to do something seeing as we have 51% of the voting shares between us here.   Perhaps allow written submissions in triplicate, tabled 3 months ahead of the meeting…something like that?”  More nodding and grunts of assent from the room.

“I was astonished that some tabloid tart, sorry Karen, so called journalist actually asked why Sir Rufus’ payout from the recent takeover was, in her words ‘a ludicrous $50M’.  I asked Jason to respond to that and he very neatly started quoting global statistics for equivalent executive remuneration in similar circumstances.  ‘The precedent is already established and we are quite clearly adhering to best practice.’ he told her.  For some reason she kept babbling on so we got the ushers to show her the door…she won’t be allowed in the room for NextCo that’s for certain.”

“Moving along now, lastly, I’d like to thank the board for their great efforts this year and the golden handshake contracts that we all have will naturally be honoured by NextCo when the two organisations become legally one.  Sir Rufus, any last words before we end today?”.

“Thank you Sir Gordon.  You have been a great mentor and advisor during my tenure here, the board have been extremely supportive and I’ve enjoyed the ride.  I will end though by reminding everyone, as I consistently do, that we are a people organisation.  That it’s the employees who make the sales, deliver the product and create innovation and that’s why we look after them and reward achievement.  I personally owe my success to our loyal employees and I thank them for that.  Thank you all.”

“Well said Sir Rufus and thank you.  That ends our meeting today and I look forward to working with you all on another occasion.  We work very well together and let’s face it, we know how to look after ourselves don’t we!”

Disclaimer.  This article is a work of fiction.  Any references to people and events in the real world are purely coincidental. Of course they are!